Scotch tape king

I lost my day timer. Panic arose. No money in it but a lot of phone numbers and my appointments for the rest of the month and some more notes until June. I’m calling around and searching, but what if I never find it’ The Lord will see me through. And I’ll have lotsa excuses’for almost everything. How am I gonna get those free passes to Luby’s back though. Well, it’ll be easier to diet’and the Lord knows I need to. But I keep hunting and maybe it’ll turn up. And who needs my business cards. I can always cross-check and find those phone numbers’some way or other. So it’s not like a bad car wreck or misplacing my keys. I’ll know in a little more than an hour if I left it in Outback Steakhouse. Maybe I did and maybe I didn’t’but for sure it’s not like a bad storm. Or bad news. Or a 1-point loss or diarrhea or constipation or even acid reflux. So I’ll live over it. Just makes me mad at myself. I bet I’ll find it though. And if you do, call’there’s a reward. H I’m always licking and sealing envelopes and leaving something out. So I just cut a little off one side and slip it in. Then I scotch tape it closed. I bet half of my letters are done this way. Sometimes I do it twice’so both ends are scotch-taped up. And I’m getting worse. I found scotch tape on sale (79′ each or two for $1). I bought two, 3/4 inch wide. I like it better than 1/2 inch. I vote for letting all the grannies run the government and be all the judges. As most of ’em are nice folks. Well, not all’just the old ones. Farm grannies are the best. They’re not quite as snooty. School teacher grannies are pretty nice too, until they learn about the Dow Jones and stock options and committees. Big business profits will ruin ya. Are you listening’ H Dr. Jarvis is getting older, crankier, funnier and more decrepit. Same thing for me except broker. Though he acts broke. Some of ya’ll who claim to be friends’write me. UNCLE BILL

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